The Reason Of Life // Why I Feel Lost With 46 And How I Fix It
I feel lost. What is the reason of life? I’m 46 and a mother of two. But my children are independent now. So what do I do? I spent half of my life raising my children, managing my family, and doing my job on the side. And all of a sudden, 2/3 of my tasks are basically eliminated. I’m not able to keep my body in shape and my nerves became very fragile.
There was not really one specific moment, but it became obvious when my youngest child entered 8th grade. Suddenly my days were longer. I caught myself scrolling uselessly through social networks. And then I buried myself in work to fill the gap. Until burnout. I wrote an article about it: Feeling Burned Out? These 5 Self-Love Habits Might Help
But if work is not the answer for this gap, what is?
If you feel the same way or ask yourself the same question, this post might be for you. Not only do I share my thoughts, but I also have some tips on how this feeling can vanish.
I think we are not meant to become that old
It’s called midlife crisis. You’re halfway through life, the time of your natural purpose is almost over. Yes, I’m talking about reproduction. Biologically speaking, this is our main purpose: making sure our species survives. The chance to become pregnant gets lower and lower, your hormones change, and your body surrenders to time.
And if you think about it, back then, I mean thousands of years ago, when we weren’t civilized, our life span was way shorter. Our species never experienced life in the age of 80 or 90 years. We reproduced and around 30 or 40, science shows, life was over. Evolution shaped us for survival and reproduction, not for finding purpose at 50. But this is what happens in the modern world.
A chance of reinvention
Even though people at midlife compare their reality with ideals (which leads to disappointment and restlessness), it might be a chance to start all over again. Whatever it is that interests you, now is the best time to follow your dreams. You are old enough and you bring lots of experience into the equation, but you are also young enough to still have the physical and mental energy to learn something new.
I recorded a video about my thoughts. I also go through this reinvention. I feel this gap of purpose. And now learning new skills (like talking in front of a camera and video editing) is my way to fill this gap. There are different ways you can do that. Important is, you start.
If you feel the same, here are a few things that helped me (and maybe they can help you too):
- Try something you always wanted but never had time for: a class, a hobby, a new sport.
- Write down small daily wins in a journal. It helps to see that progress is possible.
- Say “yes” to new experiences, even if they scare you a little (that’s when your life changes).
- Spend time with people who inspire you, not drain you.
- Remember: starting small is better than not starting at all.
I believe, in the modern world, with 40+ years of bonus time, we should pour our wisdom into helping people who need it. And I strongly believe, everyone has something to offer. It’s my new reason of life.
Fulfillment
Our ancestors never had decades to explore passions. But we do. We have to reset our mindset from “my purpose is done” to “I conquer my bonus time.” You built a life for 40 years. Now it’s time to live it fully. Find your true passion and go all in. You don’t need anyone’s permission except yours. Think of it as upgrading your operating system for this new life stage.
Fulfillment happens when your values align with what you do. And I think especially in midlife we become kind of picky about it. I can say about myself, that my time flexibility is more important than a loving job I would do even without pay. I quit this job, that I was so passionate about. Only because it demanded too much of my time. I also choose myself over everything else. Not because I’m selfish, but to show up as the best version of myself.
What's your reason of life?
Being in your forties is not the definition of losing your purpose. It’s the definition of growth, change, and reinvention.
If you feel lost right now, remember, you are not broken. You are not “too late.” You are simply at the beginning of your second life.
Now I’d love to hear from you:
- Have you ever felt this same “gap” of purpose in midlife?
- What is one small thing you are doing (or want to try) to reinvent yourself?
Share your thoughts in the comments, your story might be the encouragement someone else needs today.
