Feeling Burned Out? These 5 Self-Love Habits Might Help
You know what’s good for others, like for your children, spouse, or friends. When they feel low, you support them with your knowledge and love. Even though you know it might be difficult for them, you push them gently.
And I think there’s a slight possibility you’re not doing the same for yourself. Actions of self-love, I mean. Well, I definitely didn’t watch out for myself (intentionally) for almost 20 years. I would say as a child or teen, I didn’t worry about it too much. I would describe it as a lack of understanding. But after entering adulthood and the workforce, I started functioning, simply running on autopilot and pleasing others. I heard things like, “Don’t do X, it disturbs others,” “What will others think of you?” “Don’t do Y, it doesn’t fit in here,” “Don’t be selfish.” I learned to fit in. It was just the way it had always been. And I didn’t question it. I also had nobody introducing another idea or way of living my life.
I do have quite an uncommon lifestyle. But the way I work, my thoughts, and my habits stayed the same: do what’s good for others. Be a true and loyal friend to everyone.
Until I burned out at 43. Please note that there are many stages of burnout and depression. Some are really severe and need professional attention. But there are also stages that are manageable, yet remain serious.
However, suddenly this strange personality showed up, and it scared me. I discovered a person I wish I’d never met. And even today, I am ashamed of this human being. But it’s now part of my story.
It all ended with awareness
I probably don’t have to tell you, but it’s not a nice place to be. You get overwhelmed so easily, the smallest tasks feel as big as a mountain, and every deadline brings anxiety and fear. Your nerves are frayed, and you snap at the slightest tension. You’re not able to think straight or solve any problem.
I was so afraid to admit it. That this was too much, you know? I thought I was weak. In fact, I was weak for not admitting it.
The minute I was honest with myself, I felt relief, and from that moment, everything changed. But this step felt so heavy. Why? Because I thought it made me a failure.
In the end, I realized how important this step was, along with some other habits.
I’m sharing my five most valuable self-love acts that helped me through burnout and beyond, as well as the early stages of depression. I also wrote a blog post about self-love:
1. Be honest with yourself
For me, this is by far the most difficult thing to do. I’m very quick to convince myself with words, thoughts, or stories that keep me comfortable. But sometimes there’s this gut feeling, this voice inside me that whispers something else.
It’s not a matter of a clear yes or no. It’s this strange feeling of honesty that I try to ignore. But why? Why do I sabotage myself? It took a while to figure that out, but it’s part of the process of self-love.
Mostly, I was afraid to face the facts. When reality and my beliefs didn’t match, it put me in mental discomfort. So I changed my beliefs instead of facing change.
But when you realize that self-honesty leads to peace, it suddenly becomes non-negotiable, even if it feels like walking through a storm before reaching the calm.
Being honest with myself is my most important act of self-love.
2. Put yourself first
As a child and teen, I was taught to always please others. I was told to take care of other people’s feelings over my own. In fact, I never learned to acknowledge my own feelings and needs.
But with self-honesty, I have to acknowledge my feelings. And it requires the decision to set aside others for now and listen to what my body and soul need at this very moment.
Walking through the storm before reaching the calm. For me, it’s still a mental discomfort (even today) to ignore other people’s feelings and choose my own needs. But once that is done, I find peace, and it doesn’t feel so heavy anymore.
I’m still learning to tell myself what I would suggest to others. Being honest with myself is one thing, but acting on it is a different story.
It gets easier over time. At some point, it becomes a habit. One that should also be non-negotiable.
A little side note: putting yourself first is different from being selfish. By putting yourself first, you’re taking care of your mental and emotional well-being so you can show up well in life. Being selfish is about self-priority at the expense of others, disregarding their time and effort. I had to learn this difference too.
3. Move your body
I discovered that physical exhaustion keeps my mind calm and satisfied. I didn’t work out intentionally. I was just very active in general. But when I started to be more aware of myself and my body, I realized that when I didn’t exercise, my mood dropped. Negative thoughts crept in, and self-doubt kicked in.
I now try to walk every day for at least one hour. If that’s not possible due to the weather, I do yoga or deep clean the house. It definitely helps to ease my mind.
4. Inhale Nature
I know this sounds cliché, but it’s a key element when it comes to mental stress or discomfort. Nature provides sounds and smells that calm your nervous system. I see a lot of content leading back to nature, probably for a reason.
Give it a try! Be intentional about it. Whenever you don’t feel like yourself, take 60 minutes of your day and spend it (preferably alone) in a natural environment. But before you go, write down a few bullet points about how you feel or what you’re thinking. Then take a walk, go for a run, or just sit in a park.
I prefer sitting by the ocean. The smell of salt and fish, the wind in my face, and the unique rhythm of the waves let negative thoughts disappear in seconds.
The slower rhythms of nature help me shift from fight-or-flight mode to rest-and-digest mode. Also, the light and air quality boost my focus and creativity.
And did you know that being outside, especially in green or blue environments, increases serotonin and endorphins? Of course, this is not a one-size-fits-all solution, but it definitely helps when experiencing a low mood.
Now, what are your thoughts and feelings after you spend some time in nature? Write them down. Be honest. What do you notice?
5. A routine that’s not negotiable
Implementing a routine means building structure. It’s like an anchor, something you can hold on to even when things are tough.
When I’m in Spain, my absolute non-negotiable routine is my morning coffee on the pool deck, preferably at 6:30 a.m. It’s quiet, beautiful to look at, and I make sure I start my day as slowly as possible.
Self-Love Practice Summary
I hope you found this article valuable. Self-love isn’t just something to practice during burnout or depression. It’s something everyone deserves to make a daily standard. What’s your favorite way to show yourself love? I’d love to hear it.
Important note: If you’re going through burnout or depression, please reach out for help. You don’t have to go through it alone. I’m not a professional, and everything I share comes from my own personal experience. It’s completely okay and important to talk to a professional therapist at any time.
