You’ve Nothing To Say? 4 Small Talk Tips For Every Situation
You’ve probably experienced a similar situation, that awkward silence when you meet strangers. You feel cringey, your hands are sweaty, and your heartbeat is pounding in your throat. You don’t know what to say, and the conversation ends before it even starts.
If you want to change that and feel more confident in small talk situations, then this post might be for you.
I’ll share my story and how I’ve learned to handle strange situations with ease.
Why do we need small talk?
In our society, communication is important. Small talk is one simple and easy way to connect with each other. It’s not a heavy conversation, it’s light and effortless. Small talk also shows confidence. It means: I can handle situations well. I trust myself enough to interact with others.
In the business world, being able to start small talk is a great advantage. It gives you credibility and influence. Having a good network is key and to build that, you need to be able to connect. The best way to do that is through small talk.
Small talk is also a great way to lead into a more serious conversation. A warm-up, if you will. Imagine having to talk about something unpleasant. It’s much harder to jump right in. But if you start with small talk, the ball is already rolling, and it becomes easier to transition to the heavy stuff.
How it works
First of all, what are you afraid of? What makes you nervous?
When I was younger, I was shy. I would stand at the very back or hide in the last corner of a room, praying that nobody would speak to me. But why?
For me, it was a lack of confidence. I thought I could never keep up with whoever wanted to talk to me. I thought they would judge me for what I said. And I could never make the first move.
Then there are other people. They just talk. No fear. No confidence issues whatsoever. My son is one of them. I admire him for his strong confidence.
The good news is: you can learn this skill, and you can practice it. It’s like a little strategy and it works like a charm.
1. Have an exit sentence ready
This is your exit strategy. If things go sideways, this is your anchor. Some people just don’t want to make small talk. That happens. And that’s okay because you’ll be able to leave the situation without any awkwardness. You can say things like:
“It was so nice talking to you. I hope we can catch up sometime soon.”
“I don’t want to keep you. It was great meeting you.”
“I’m sorry, I have to go now. Good to see you!”
2. Talk about what is
When you’re with a stranger, or someone you barely know, there might not be much to talk about. For now, you don’t have anything in common. So the best strategy is to talk about what’s happening in that very moment. That’s something you do have in common with the other person.
Maybe the weather is crazy, or you’re both at the same event, pick up on that and start a conversation. Is it your first time at college? No problem. Talk about the campus, the people, or whatever’s happening around you.
3. Ask open-ended questions
The next step are open-end questions. This way, the other person needs to think and respond with a full sentence. Start your questions with:
What
How
Why
Try not to ask questions that can be answered with a simple yes or no. You can also offer them options. For example:
“It’s so cold! I’m more of a summer person. How about you, do you like winter, or are you more the summer type too?”
A good follow-up question could be:
“Oh, that’s so nice! What’s your favorite thing to do in [summer/winter/etc.]?”
“The campus is really big, I like it. What made you choose this college?”
A good follow-up question could be:
“Oh, that’s interesting! Did you visit the campus before applying?”
4. Make a compliment
Everyone likes to hear compliments. It makes people feel good, and it takes the focus off you. A compliment can be as simple as “Your dress looks really nice” or “Your presentation was super valuable.”
And again, follow up with a simple open-ended question.
“Where did you get it?” or “What inspired you to talk about that topic?”
Small Talk Summary
Everyone feels relieved when someone takes the first step and starts a conversation. There’s probably very little judgment on how it’s done. The main goal is to avoid awkward silence.
You can practice small talk every day, and soon, it will become second nature.
What’s your takeaway on small talk? Let me know in the comments!
